“Too expensive!” “Too complicated!” “Unrealistic!” – This is the sort of
criticism US President Donald Trump is currently facing over plans to
build a wall along the border with Mexico. An offer from home
furnishings brand, IKEA, could solve all of these problems with a single
The Scandinavian furniture maker has offered the USA a practical,
ready-made solution with “Börder Wåll”. All they need to do is pick it
up in a van from the nearest IKEA branch and put it up where they want
it to go. Totalling US $9,999,999,999.99, “Börder Wåll” is significantly
cheaper than a conventional wall. Estimates suggest that a conventional
wall would cost between US $15 and $25 billion.
According to government press secretary, Sean Spicer, President Trump is currently inspecting the offer:
The simple, Scandinavian designed border wall (with a 5 year guarantee)
is primarily made of pressboard with a birch effect and can be assembled
with the help of a hex key. A 12,000 page instruction manual with
easy-to-understand pictures makes construction child’s play – as long as
there is not a single screw missing.
“However, assembly requires two people: one person can hold the wall
while the second screws it together”, it states in IKEA’s offer.
The basic model of the wall is 33ft (10 m) tall and 1,954 miles (3,144
km) long, although the height and length can be extended as desired.
IKEA has already announced that it will design other products in the
next few weeks that will be compatible with “Börder Wåll”. According to
inside sources, this includes products such as the “Gåwk” watchtower and
the “Råtåtåtåtåtå” spring-gun.